Camping with Tarzan

Before we were married, Tarzan invited me to go camping. He was retired and I was still working so the plan was this. Tarzan would get everything ready, I would go to work and when I got off work, we would leave for the mountains.

After work, I hurried home, changed cloths and drove to Tarzan's house. I knocked on the door and after several, long minutes he answered. He was sitting in the dark with his computer in a bazillion pieces. He simply said, "Oh, is it 5:00 o'clock?"

He had done NOTHING to get ready to go camping. He threw a hammock in the Jeep. We drove together to my house and I got a few blankets and a pan to cook with and off we went. I must have been in love...

When we got up north, Tarzan stopped at a Kentucky Fried Chicken to get dinner. Hmmmmm, not what I had thought dinner at a camp site would be. Then, I suggested we might want to stop at a grocery store before heading into the woods in case he didn't catch enough fish for breakfast. He was a little incensed, but he must have been in love too...we stopped and bought breakfast food, paper plates and plastic ware.

When we got to the campsite it was dark. Tarzan pulled out his hammock and strung it up so high you had to stand on the Jeep to get in it. We each had our own blankets so we climbed into the hammock for the night. Once we were both in, we both rolled to the middle and were plastered against each other--no room for movement. The temperature began to drop and our measly blankets became less and less effective. We could not generate enough body heat to keep each other warm, so Tarzan got out of the Hammock, giving me all the blankets and then...

HE GOT IN THE JEEP AND TURNED ON THE HEATER. I must have been in love...

That didn't last long, he began to feel guilty and climbed back in the hammock to try and keep me warm. What we didn't know was that there was a flash flood in the night and all the people who were closer to the stream and lower on the ground got flooded out. It was a mess.

In the morning I built a fire and cooked breakfast, Tarzan was duly impressed. We went gold panning and four-wheeling and had a wing-ding of a time.

Now, this past weekend...

We have now been married for nine years. Tarzan says on Wednesday, "do you want to go fishing with me?" I say, "I'd love to." See, he usually goes with the guys, but none of them were available.

When Tarzan goes fishing with the guys he spends 4 or 5 days getting ready. He did nothing to get ready to go with me. So, to make a long story short, we left the house at 8:00 a.m. and did not arrive at the camp site (which is 30 minutes from our home) until 5:00 p.m. What we were doing is of no consequence except to make it very clear that the reason it took us so long was directly related to Tarzan's lack of preparation.

I must still be in love...