Things I need to say. If you are not interested in my personal life, don't bother to read this.
There are different personality types in this world, we each have a type.
There are many tests that will tell you what "type" you are.
These "tests" may or may not peg you right, but if you are aware at all, you recognize your own strengths and weaknesses. If you don't recognize them, ask a close friend and when they tell you the truth, nod your head and say, "thank you"--don't argue with them because they are probably right and if you start to argue with them, they will not give you a true picture of yourself. You can think it over later and dismiss what you think is way off base.
As for me, I have a personality type that does not let people get too close. I dismiss people from my life when I move to another town and I do not keep close friends. In fact, I would say I have only had two close friends in my life, one recently passed away--we had only communicated 2 or 3 times by email the year before she died, and I only talk to the other one maybe twice a year.
Not a good thing.
I have a fear of telling anyone how much I appreciate them and love having them in my life for fear they would soon leave and then I will be stuck with words hanging out there that have no meaning.
When Tarzan and I were dating we met with the Stake President. President Pease asked Tarzan how he felt about me and then they just sat there and talked about me like I wasn't in the room. Tarzan told President Pease how lucky he was that I came into his life and how wonderful I was and how blessed he felt that I am with him. President Pease looked at me and said, "I think you need to stay with this man." You have no idea how that made me feel to simply have them say all these nice things about me, right there in front of me. It was surreal.
Tarzan and I got married 10 years ago and in that time, he has told me, hmmmm, I tried to count and I can't count the number of times he has told me how glad he is that I came into his life. How lucky he is to have me. How blessed he is that we are a couple. How fun I am to be with. How satisfied he is with his life. The first time he did this was on my birthday. We woke up early and he laid there in bed and told me just how precious I was to him. I couldn't ask for a better gift.
There is nothing better than getting a phone call in the middle of the day and have Tarzan tell me what a joy it is to have me as a wife.
This makes me try harder to be a wife worth the compliment.
Don't think by this that we have a perfect life. We agree that sometimes we drive each other crazy and irritate each other, but on the whole we really love each other.
I have learned to say, without fear, how much I love and appreciate him. He has helped me open my heart to others and, without prejudgment, just accept people for who they are and let them into my life as good friends. Perhaps not always life-long friends, but giving them a place in my heart, a place I didn't know existed.
Perhaps if you told your spouse how blessed you are to have them in your life, you would get a similar response, but you have to mean it when you say it.