I wrote this in 1996.
It's funny how you think they will always be there. The first time I realized that feeling was when my Granner died and I walked in her kitchen and expected her to come bounding out of her bedroom singing a song, but she didn't and I had to inhale and smile and make the homemade chocolate chip cookies to put in the red pottery cookie jar for Digger. Digger was next and I realized he wouldn't answer anymore at 373-1688. Then Bert and there would be no more cowboy stories and there was no one to be with Mom. And Uncle Howard who wasn't even sick, he isn't there anymore to fix things when they break and squeeze Aunt Pat.

Then Jason and there would be no one to cause trouble at the family get-togethers. But now my Mom, she's not going anywhere. My Mom will always be here. I know, I don't worry, because she can kick the hell out of the world wearing high-heeled combat boots.
But I saw her through anxious eyes when she almost died and now I fear. I think I'll call her tonight and say, "Hi, Mom, when are you coming to visit? I miss you."


The cycle of life can be hard to watch. Sometimes that is the hardest part... when you wake up thinking maybe I will visit so-and-so today and then you remember. It's in that moment that it truly sinks in sometimes.

How neat that you have something you wrote in 1996. Have you always kept a journal?

I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day.